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Submitted By: goat pig jerks at work
<TheeGoatPig> I recorded a metal vocalist demo at work (not during working hours)
<TheeGoatPig> Hello, and welcome to the nuttiness that isn't in my brain, but in the rest of the world
<[Falcon]> haha
<flapdragon> goatpig
<flapdragon> what were your porn stories about
<[BTFzor]Nitro> porn stories?
<flapdragon> TheeGoatPi: I also used to write porn stories when at work (I used to have dialup for the longest time there)
<TheeGoatPig> Different things
<flapdragon> like?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> at work?!?!?
<TheeGoatPig> A couple screwing while working out, a ghost romp, a couple tentacle stories, an incest series
<[BTFzor]Nitro> did your co-workers know about this stuff?
<TheeGoatPig> Coworkers?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> you know
<TheeGoatPig> you make it sound like I'm not the only employee
<[BTFzor]Nitro> people you work with
<[BTFzor]Nitro> so you're the only employee
* Sony_Owner has joined #GameSpy
<TheeGoatPig> but after all of these years I still yearn to play drums again on a regular basis
* Sony_Owner is now known as TheInvisibleHan
* TheInvisibleHan is now known as InvisibleHand
<InvisibleHand> hello goat pig
<InvisibleHand> do you know who i asm
<[BTFzor]Nitro> yeah i dont play any instruments
<InvisibleHand> goat pig
<InvisibleHand> are you familiar with doctor ron paul?
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<TheeGoatPig> !users
<InvisibleHand> do you know of the gold standard?
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<InvisibleHand> i know of the fiat money you throw away in your games of chance goat pig
<InvisibleHand> i am here to tell you
<InvisibleHand> it does not have to be like this
<InvisibleHand> do you know about the gold standard?
<TheeGoatPig> So I'm being harrased by a bot now?
<InvisibleHand> no
<InvisibleHand> you are being told the truth by a man who understands life
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<InvisibleHand> i know of the life energy you waste on japanese porn cartoons
<TheeGoatPig> I'm just going to sit here and stare for a while
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<InvisibleHand> do you know what retrograde ejaculation is
<InvisibleHand> next time you are masturbating at work
<InvisibleHand> i advice you to turn the ejaculatory energy backwords
<InvisibleHand> into your colon
<InvisibleHand> to increase your power
<InvisibleHand> can you afford a pound of gold, goat pig?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> retrograde is into the bladder
<InvisibleHand> there is no bladder
<TheeGoatPig> It's just my boss and I, and he works from home/car
<[BTFzor]Nitro> oh
<[BTFzor]Nitro> do you guys run a store or something?
<TheeGoatPig> Architectural firm
<TheeGoatPig> I do the computer drawings and he does everything else
<[BTFzor]Nitro> ah
<[BTFzor]Nitro> so hes the architect in the practice?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> thats pretty cool, do you guys design anything cool?
<TheeGoatPig> We designed this building that I pass a few times a week that is 90% finished
<TheeGoatPig> but could be torn down any month now
<TheeGoatPig> the owner of the property ran out of money
<[BTFzor]Nitro> did your boss ever bust you downloading porn/watching porn/jacking off at work/writing incest stories, etc?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> how fucked up that must be
<TheeGoatPig> No, that was what started this conversation
<[BTFzor]Nitro> ah
<TheeGoatPig> I almost got caught today by the woman in the office down the hall today
<TheeGoatPig> but not my boss
<TheeGoatPig> and before you start
<TheeGoatPig> she is old enough to be my mother
<TheeGoatPig> and married and stuff
<[BTFzor]Nitro> did she almost catch you beating off?
<TheeGoatPig> I can hear her approach, and zip up quick enough
<TheeGoatPig> This is a demented conversation, even for me...
<[BTFzor]Nitro> haha, i was joking about jerking off at work..
<[BTFzor]Nitro> jesus
<TheeGoatPig> =D
<TheeGoatPig> this is what happens when you stick a socially awkward 32 year old man in an office all alone for nine hours a day
<[BTFzor]Nitro> where do you shoot your nut when you beat it at work?
<TheeGoatPig> I have a private bathroom
<[BTFzor]Nitro> sweet
<TheeGoatPig> I shave and brush my teeth in there too
<[BTFzor]Nitro> haha
<TheeGoatPig> I just wish it had a shower
<[BTFzor]Nitro> you could practically live there
<TheeGoatPig> Yes
<TheeGoatPig> I also have a fridge and microwave
<[BTFzor]Nitro> nice
<[BTFzor]Nitro> pack the fridge with beers and you should be all set
<TheeGoatPig> would if I drank alcohol
<[BTFzor]Nitro> well then red bulls
<TheeGoatPig> I just keep nutritional shakes int here most days
<TheeGoatPig> the occasional carton of milk
<TheeGoatPig> I wish my boss would pay me
<TheeGoatPig> I want to buy a drum set
<TheeGoatPig> a nice Roland electric mesh head set
<[BTFzor]Nitro> do you play in a band?
<TheeGoatPig> Used to, over a decade ago
<TheeGoatPig> We sucked balls
<TheeGoatPig> Auditioned for a few bands as a vocalist since then, but couldn't make anything work
<TheeGoatPig> I had a killer growl too
<[BTFzor]Nitro> metal, i take it
<TheeGoatPig> Yes
<TheeGoatPig> I thought I really impressed that last band I tried out for, but an old friend of theirs took precident over the better "artist"
<TheeGoatPig> =D
<InvisibleHand> you fool
<InvisibleHand> you believe the fda's lies
* kiru has joined #GameSpy
<InvisibleHand> let me show you something that could change your mind fiendo
<kiru> one day I woke up
<kiru> and I knew
<kiru> I was capo the don
<[BTFzor]Nitro> retrograde ejac is into the bladder
<[BTFzor]Nitro> its bladder ejac
<InvisibleHand> no
<InvisibleHand> there is no colon you fucking fool
<[BTFzor]Nitro> when u ejac retro
<[BTFzor]Nitro> u ejac into the bladder
<InvisibleHand> no
<InvisibleHand> it goes into your colon
<InvisibleHand> it increases your chi
<InvisibleHand> you fool
<InvisibleHand> do you know of the mental transcendent powers of gold
<InvisibleHand> i am going to open your mind goat pig
<[BTFzor]Nitro> if u have a bladder to colon fistula
<InvisibleHand> what if i were to tell you you didn't have to work at your job
<[BTFzor]Nitro> u can retrograde ejac into your colon
<InvisibleHand> and gamble fiat money away
<TheeGoatPig> So, you're a bot?
<InvisibleHand> no
<InvisibleHand> goatpig
<InvisibleHand> let i know why you stay up at night
<InvisibleHand> and read hentai
<InvisibleHand> i can help you
<InvisibleHand> but only if you open your mind
<InvisibleHand> and close
<TheeGoatPig> Can you help me act like a bot like you?
<InvisibleHand> do you know what purestrain gold is
<TheeGoatPig> Do you know that you are a bot?
<InvisibleHand> have you thought about a life
<InvisibleHand> without masturbation
<TheeGoatPig> a life without bots?
<InvisibleHand> i have seen your image in my mind
<InvisibleHand> your face appears drained of life
<InvisibleHand> your beard appears drained of nutrients
<TheeGoatPig> probably because I'm dead
<InvisibleHand> your body drained of life force
<TheeGoatPig> I'm a zombies...
<InvisibleHand> is that way your face looks like mashed potatoes
<TheeGoatPig> (yes, multiple zombies)
<kiru> I think if you could fit diamonds into your beard
<kiru> that would be cool
<TheeGoatPig> Damn, and I shaved my beard off three years ago...
<InvisibleHand> you think you did
<InvisibleHand> when in fact the illusion of the international lords of finance
<InvisibleHand> lead you to believe
<InvisibleHand> when in fact
<InvisibleHand> metalurgy tells us
<InvisibleHand> any machine stops working around your face
<[BTFzor]Nitro> the mayan calendar
<InvisibleHand> because it is so obtuse
<InvisibleHand> on 12/12/12
<InvisibleHand> your face will reach maximum oblongity
<InvisibleHand> and lopsidedness
<InvisibleHand> and your eyes will droop past the devil's feet
<TheeGoatPig> and I will become a bot like you?
<InvisibleHand> then the singularity
<InvisibleHand> do you know about the singularity
<InvisibleHand> it is when you can imagine your image
<InvisibleHand> just by looking at something with the texture of your face
<InvisibleHand> such as a raisan
<InvisibleHand> with the shape of your body
<InvisibleHand> such as a broken surfboard
<InvisibleHand> and you may broadcast your essence to your work
<[BTFzor]Nitro> who burned me
<InvisibleHand> and you will not even have to leave the door
<InvisibleHand> to masturbate at work
<InvisibleHand> on 12/12/12
<[BTFzor]Nitro> who the fuck are you
<InvisibleHand> i am the truth
<InvisibleHand> who are you
<InvisibleHand> fraud
<[BTFzor]Nitro> you AIDS having
<[BTFzor]Nitro> small dick
<InvisibleHand> it figures a simpleton such as you
<[BTFzor]Nitro> retrograde ejaculating
<InvisibleHand> would believe in aids
<[BTFzor]Nitro> liver cancer having
<InvisibleHand> /\
<[BTFzor]Nitro> cunt
<InvisibleHand> that is the real triangle
<InvisibleHand> it's right side up
<[BTFzor]Nitro> roy cohn
<InvisibleHand> it believes in natural justice
<TheeGoatPig> A real triangle from a real bot
<InvisibleHand> and the power of god
<[BTFzor]Nitro> jesus
<InvisibleHand> and thegoatpigs untouched penis
<kiru> invislbe hand is a bot?
<InvisibleHand> \/
<[BTFzor]Nitro> where are these trolls coming from
<kiru> holy shit
<InvisibleHand> that is the incorrect triangle
<kiru> what is this armo bullshit
<InvisibleHand> it is unnatural equal rights
<InvisibleHand> fiat money
<InvisibleHand> and the un
<TheeGoatPig> I wonder how many accounts would drop from the channel if we kick-banned you?
<kiru> ThreeGoatPig whats with your name
<InvisibleHand> i wonder how happy your parents would be if you died
<kiru> is it like the manbearpig or something
<kiru> like on southpark
<kiru> i love southpark
<[BTFzor]Nitro> i have a raging clue
<kiru> i was watching it the other day
<TheeGoatPig> If I died, my parrent would throw the biggest bestest party you ever saw!
<kiru> cartman said something funny
<InvisibleHand> you cannot die
<kiru> i forget what it was
<InvisibleHand> if you take purestrain gold
<kiru> man this bot is creepy
<[BTFzor]Nitro> yo
<InvisibleHand> and use a gold machine
<kiru> its like he knows what were saying
<InvisibleHand> and crush it till it is a fine powder as fine as satan's beard
<InvisibleHand> and snort it
<TheeGoatPig> No, I got TheeGoatPig before I ever heard of ManBearPig
<InvisibleHand> you will transcend the universe
<InvisibleHand> you will become a god
<InvisibleHand> you will destroy fiat money
<kiru> threegoatpig do you like family guy
<snailbot> *shrug*
<[BTFzor]Nitro> why did you call yourself goatpig
<TheeGoatPig> Im bored of you InvisibleHand
<InvisibleHand> i'm bored of your face
<InvisibleHand> and how it looks like a pale raisan
<TheeGoatPig> !kick InvisibleHand
<TheeGoatPig> Hmm
<InvisibleHand> aahahahah
<[BTFzor]Nitro> gun is jamd
<InvisibleHand> you fake lord of finance
<InvisibleHand> if only you knew
<InvisibleHand> how your masters were manipulating you
<TheeGoatPig> I never fake my finance! On;y orgasms
<InvisibleHand> do you know you're a tool of the international lords of finance
<InvisibleHand> why do you have to fake orgasms to yourself
<InvisibleHand> especially at work
<InvisibleHand> why do you work for a fiat paycheck
<TheeGoatPig> Because I don't like me much
<InvisibleHand> that loses 2 percent of its value a year
<InvisibleHand> before you can even spend it on animes
<InvisibleHand> it is worth less than you thought it was
<kiru> how can a guy fake an orgasm
<[BTFzor]Nitro> HIV infection is fucked
<kiru> nitro youre a doctor
<kiru> tell me how
<[BTFzor]Nitro> what
<kiru> how does a guy fake an orgasm
<TheeGoatPig> With science
<snailbot> lets make a neat gun
<[BTFzor]Nitro> jesus christ eli manning just got brutally sacked
<[BTFzor]Nitro> fuk
<[BTFzor]Nitro> um
<[BTFzor]Nitro> kiru if he's wearing a condom he can just fake it by saying that he's blowing his load when he's really not
<[BTFzor]Nitro> otherwise its a little bit difficult
<kiru> oh
<kiru> so thats how he did it
<InvisibleHand> he sings soul music
<InvisibleHand> like his cousins the california raisins taught him
<[BTFzor]Nitro> who
* InvisibleHand was kicked by [Falcon] (Neusence)
<kiru> dude if invisiblehand passes the turing test we all get a lot of money
* InvisibleHand has joined #GameSpy
<InvisibleHand> afraid of the truth
<InvisibleHand> how typical
<TheeGoatPig> Or bored with the bot spamming the channel
<InvisibleHand> i'm talking about important things
<InvisibleHand> all you wish to discuss is japanese porn cartoons
<InvisibleHand> and how long it took for you to be sun dried when you were born
* [Falcon] sets mode: +m
* [Falcon] sets mode: +b *!*
* InvisibleHand was kicked by [Falcon] (InvisibleHand)
<[BTFzor]Nitro> HIV positive GSF members
#GameSpy Cannot send to channel
* [Falcon] sets mode: -m
<[BTFzor]Nitro> HIV positive GSF members
<[BTFzor]Nitro> how many are there?
<kiru> hey i cant talk
<kiru> whats going on
<[BTFzor]Nitro> i'm starting a support group
<kiru> guys
<kiru> guys
<TheeGoatPig> We muted the channel for a second
<kiru> hello
<kiru> can u hear me<TheeGoatPig> Yes
<TheeGoatPig> No
<TheeGoatPig> (lie first, jackass ;) )
<kiru> guys
<kiru> hello
<TheeGoatPig> What!?>
<kiru> i saw a japanese cartoon porn once
<kiru> im trying to learn japanese
<kiru> i wonder what would happpen if you showed a bot a japanese porn
<TheeGoatPig> Lubricant would spew all over the place
* TheeGoatPig is tempted to link to this one video...
<kiru> what does lubricant have to do with porn
<TheeGoatPig> I won't
<kiru> is it some kind of car porn
<TheeGoatPig> But I'm tempted...
<TheeGoatPig> I have to connect all the dots for you people?
<TheeGoatPig> I have to superglue my shoe back together again
<kiru> i had to do connect the dots in school once
<TheeGoatPig> That has ntohing to do with anything
<TheeGoatPig> It's just something I have to do
<kiru> do you have a job or something
<kiru> threegoatpig
<[BTFzor]Nitro> i need to publicize my support group for HIV positive GSF members
<kiru> wait there are fags on gsf
<[BTFzor]Nitro> there are people from different high risk groups
<[BTFzor]Nitro> men who have sex with men
<[BTFzor]Nitro> people from countries where HIV is endemic
<kiru> oh my cousins like that
<[BTFzor]Nitro> iv droug abusers
<kiru> its only gay if you take it up the ass
<[BTFzor]Nitro> *drug
<kiru> oh fuck
<kiru> i drink cough syrup a lot
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<kiru> am i gonna get aids
<kiru> please
<kiru> please
<[BTFzor]Nitro> you can't contract HIV from cough syrup
<TheeGoatPig> You are one weird little grouping of letters
<kiru> oh good
<TheeGoatPig> And there is no R in my name
<[BTFzor]Nitro> there are several HIV positive GSF members
<TheeGoatPig> Unless I'm BarelyWoringGoat
<[BTFzor]Nitro> that i know of
<kiru> threegoatpig do you have money
<kiru> i need some
* [Falcon] sets mode: -b *!*
<kiru> unless you need to spend it on shoes
<TheeGoatPig> There is no R in my name
<TheeGoatPig> Unless I'm BarelyWoringGoat
<kiru> how long did it take you to type that
<TheeGoatPig> Not as long as it took me to hit the "up" arrow and highlight the two offending letters
<TheeGoatPig> Or is that backwards?
<flapdragon> hey falcon u around
* kiruzog has joined #GameSpy
<flapdragon> falcon im disappointed in you
<flapdragon> and so are my african america brothers
<flapdragon> after the other day
<flapdragon> do you have an explanation for your racism?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> yo
<[BTFzor]Nitro> favorite pornstar flap?
<kiruzog> falcon is racist?
<kiruzog> i think hitler had a falcon
<flapdragon> you werent here
<flapdragon> there was a lynching
<flapdragon> of epic proportions
<[BTFzor]Nitro> whos your favorite pornstar
<kiruzog> oh man they still do that in my town
<flapdragon> lex steele
<kiruzog> one time i saw a guy get lynched outside the food lion
<[BTFzor]Nitro> whos she?
<kiruzog> lex is a guy name
<kiruzog> flapdragon do you have aids
<kiruzog> i mean msm
<[BTFzor]Nitro> oh its a male pornstar?
<[BTFzor]Nitro> is he gay?
<flapdragon> nah
* kiru has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<flapdragon> here let me get a picture
<TheeGoatPig> I can see things getting out of hand real quick...
<TheeGoatPig> yeap
<kiruzog> race traitor
<TheeGoatPig> as I was typing no less
<[BTFzor]Nitro> wow
<kiruzog> threegoatpig did your boss catch you looking
<[BTFzor]Nitro> i've never seen that black guy before
<[BTFzor]Nitro> have you guys seen any of his scenes?
<flapdragon> goatpig
<flapdragon> tell me about your ghost romp stories
<kiruzog> i dont look at porn with black people in it
<kiruzog> mom says its a mortal sin
<[BTFzor]Nitro> thats fucked up
<[BTFzor]Nitro> tell your mom to stop being racist
<flapdragon> hey goatpig tell me about your high school reunion
<flapdragon> i bet you got a lot of comments on that sick beard
<TheeGoatPig> Nope
<flapdragon> what the hell
<TheeGoatPig> What, are you googling me in the background or something?
<flapdragon> no you posted your photos on gsf remember
<TheeGoatPig> Yeap
<kiruzog> i entered threegoatpig in google but nothing came up
<TheeGoatPig> Of course not
<kiruzog> i have safe search on
<TheeGoatPig> There is no R in my name
<kiruzog> yeah there is
<TheeGoatPig> Where?
* TheeGoatPig looks
<kiruzog> dude how can you spell three without r
<TheeGoatPig> It's easy, there is no Three in my name
<TheeGoatPig> It's Thee
<kiruzog> thee isnt a word
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<kiruzog> did you mean to type the
<kiruzog> thegoatpig makes more sense than threegoatpig I guess
<kiruzog> otherwise it wouldbe threegoatpigs
<kiruzog> im not supposed to click links i find in chat rooms
<kiruzog> the last time i did that i saw a black mans penis
<TheeGoatPig> Well thank you definitely don't want to click this one:
<kiruzog> ok
<flapdragon> goatpig where do you work
<TheeGoatPig> Why so much interest?
<TheeGoatPig> (why so serious?)
<flapdragon> just curious bro
<TheeGoatPig> An architectural firm in northern new jersey
<kiruzog> you sure its not a consentual light bondage factory?
<TheeGoatPig> Not 100%, but maybe 5%
<TheeGoatPig> those are close, right? ;)
<flapdragon> have you considered doing architectural work on your face
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<TheeGoatPig> That went from inquisitory to inflamitory awfully quick...
<[BTFzor]Nitro> maybe he was just talking about plastic surgery
* [Falcon] has quit IRC (Signed off)
<TheeGoatPig> I've had reconstructive jaw surgery, but I doubt that is what he meant
<flapdragon> tell me about that
<kiruzog> reconstructive jaw surgery
<flapdragon> what was the problem
<kiruzog> you mean
<kiruzog> shaving?
<TheeGoatPig> O_o
<[BTFzor]Nitro> what happened?
<flapdragon> yea tell us bro
<TheeGoatPig> I had messed up teeth, too big for my jaw, so I had 8 removed and my jaw realigned
<[BTFzor]Nitro> whoa
<[BTFzor]Nitro> 8 teeth removed?
<TheeGoatPig> In one sitting
<[BTFzor]Nitro> jesus
<[BTFzor]Nitro> were they adult teeth?
<TheeGoatPig> I feel like flapdragon is trying to rape me through questions
<[BTFzor]Nitro> his dick is coming through your cable modem
<TheeGoatPig> Yes, I was 16 or 17 when they were removed
<TheeGoatPig> 21 when I had the jaw surgery
<TheeGoatPig> braces between
<TheeGoatPig> almost 21, by a couple weeks
<TheeGoatPig> My bottom lip still feels off since then
<[BTFzor]Nitro> oh damn
<[BTFzor]Nitro> did they put in caps
<TheeGoatPig> Nope
<TheeGoatPig> I only have 24 teeth
<[BTFzor]Nitro> oh ok
<Devilz|USA> i have 7 wisdom teeth?
<TheeGoatPig> No
<TheeGoatPig> 4
<Devilz|USA> i have 7
<TheeGoatPig> You shouldn't...
<flapdragon> falcoln
<Devilz|USA> x rays say i do
<flapdragon> i want an explanation for your racism the other day
<flapdragon> now
<Devilz|USA> huh
<flapdragon> why were you lynching my proud african american brother
<Devilz|USA> Telling someone to stop saying the N word is racist? who knew
<flapdragon> no we're both black
<flapdragon> so its okay
<Devilz|USA> k
<flapdragon> i demand reparations
<TheeGoatPig> I demand cake
<snailbot> it's so delicious and moist ^_^
<TheeGoatPig> cake
<snailbot> it's so delicious and moist ^_^
<fishbot> fish
<snailbot> carrots handbags cheese.
<fishbot> ...toilets russians planets hamsters weddings poets stalin KUALA LUMPUR! pygmys budgies KUALA LUMPUR!
<snailbot> i went to kuala lumpur once, didn't like it much. they served vinegar in my aftershock.
<fishbot> Ah, a true connoisseur!
<snailbot> cats go moo
<fishbot> snailbot: only when they are impersonating fish.
<snailbot> you know who else goes moo?
<fishbot> snailbot: YA MUM!
<snailbot> well bite me!
<TheeGoatPig> Wow...
<flapdragon> falcon, if you dont give me reparations
<flapdragon> ill have no choice but to report you
<Devilz|USA> Last time i checked reparations are only given to the slaves of the family that enslaved them. Sorry to say but i never had slaves in my family.
<Devilz|USA> My family was slaves in egypt so go figure
<TheeGoatPig> You are aware that is one of the problems with the world today? People demanding things they haven't earned and don't deserve, than complaining to someone until they get thier way?
<flapdragon> you enslaved me
<flapdragon> and my brothers
<flapdragon> with your hate
<Devilz|USA> i dont hate anyone but nice try
<[BTFzor]Nitro> your family werent slaves in Egypt
<TheeGoatPig> If he is jewish they were
<[BTFzor]Nitro> no
<Devilz|USA> Yes
<[BTFzor]Nitro> jews from europe are not descendants from the middle east
<Devilz|USA> Jews were slaves in egypt a long time ago, check the history books
<[BTFzor]Nitro> they come from khazars
<[BTFzor]Nitro> a bunch of borats who mass converted to judaism in the early middle ages
<[BTFzor]Nitro> check your history books
<[BTFzor]Nitro> the bible isnt one
<Devilz|USA> dont read the bible
<TheeGoatPig> Well I never looked at his family tree, so I'm out of this one...
<[BTFzor]Nitro> the bible is where the mythology about jews in egypt comes from
<TheeGoatPig> Man I am tired
<TheeGoatPig> I think I am headed off to bed
<Devilz|USA> ditto
<flapdragon> falcon
<flapdragon> i have reported you
<flapdragon> for your racism
<flapdragon> im sad it had to come to this
<Devilz|USA> Oky doky
<Devilz|USA> well im off peace, see ya tomorrow goat
* Devilz|USA has quit IRC (Signed off)
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<flapdragon> hi vargas
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