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Submitted By: oh dear
*** jimpoon is now known as jim
jim: OMFG
jim: i am still roflinig
jim: so i go to meet her at the club and who shows up
EdOscuro: jimmy
jim: he's like 6'5, trying to intimindate me through subtext and shit
EdOscuro: this isn't just bad luck, is it
jim: "hey hows it goin"
jim: "you met my girlfriend?"
[BTFzor]Oc: [21:13]<jim>he's like 6'5, trying to intimindate me through subtext and shit
[BTFzor]Oc: [21:13]<EdOscuro>this isn't just bad luck, is it
[BTFzor]Oc: [21:13]<jim>"hey hows it goin"
jim: little does he know im cool as a fan
EdOscuro: subtext
EdOscuro: jimmy did you get the footage
jim: so hes like, "cmon lets go to the club"
jim: we all walk in and start talking and shit
jim: and i slowly realize this guy is a huge fucking pussy
jim: who couldnt even kick my ass if he tried
EdOscuro: did you stuff a ball gag in his mouth and ride him like a pony
jim: so yeah we're talking for a while and im like yo i have to take a piss
jim: so i go to the back and hall and i see these two strippers by the bathroom
jim: and i get a fuckin genius idea
jim: im like, "yo ill pay you 40 bucks if you to that 5'6 faggot with the polo shirt next to the blonde"
EdOscuro: yeah? yes? you said yes
jim: "and be like 'hey long time no see'"
*** Signoff: Nitro (Quit: ajax IRC Client)
EdOscuro: haha
jim: 'you still want that lapdance?'
EdOscuro: rofl
jim: at first she refuses
jim: and i haggle a little bit
jim: "okay 60"
EdOscuro: shoulda been like it's my friend
jim: "sorry"
jim: "70?"
jim: then she pauses
EdOscuro: yeah I know how haggling works jimmy
EdOscuro: you ended up paying $2000
jim: and shes like, "okay, fine, 80"
jim: this is a lot of fuckin money but i reckon its worth it
EdOscuro: jimmy you shoulda been like
jim: so i tell her to wait until i take a piss and come back so i can see this shit
EdOscuro: yo that's my brother over there, we're playing a prank on him
EdOscuro: but hey whatever works, I guess...
jim: so yeah i go over there, sit down and start chatting with both of them
jim: then that stripper comes up and does her thing
jim: "you liked that dance i gave you the other night honey"
jim: im trying to keep a straight face
jim: the blonde chick im trying to fuck gets all shocked
jim: the dude is kinda speechless at first
jim: then hes like
jim: "okay how much did he pay you to say that"
jim: im thinking fuck this guy is perceptive
jim: this may not work
jim: she gets fucking pissed and storms out of the club
jim: and the dude shoots me this furious look and runs after her
jim: im laughing my ass off
jim: and get this
EdOscuro: i'm sitting down
jim: there was this other stripper next to the bathroom who heard the whole thing
jim: so she fucking narcs on me
jim: and the bouncer throws me out of the club
jim: onto the curb
jim: so im blazed and still laughing my ass off
EdOscuro: mission accomplished?
[BTFzor]Oc: all american badass
jim: i dunno, im probably gonna call her again
jim: dunno what to say yet
[BTFzor]Oc: ...
EdOscuro: i agree with ocelot
jim: once my head clears im gonna mack on her